Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs ... (etc.).
Then the Lord spake, saying, "First shalst thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalst thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalst count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalst thou not count, neither count to two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, lobest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in our sight, shall snuff it."
"One! Two! Five!" –Amen–