LSD: Lifestyles of the Seditious and Deviant

An alternative view of Singapore from the devil's advocate

I have been reading up a little on my new home, Singapore. Quite an interesting subject for an unrepentant cynic and conspiracy theorist like myself. You just have to be selective about what you read; nice thing about Singapore is that the government does the selecting for you. It's an easy place to live: never fear, the government is here -- and there and everywhere.

Singapore Press Holdings (SPH) publishes every local newspaper in all 4 official languages. SPH is also owned by the government, and the government is formed by one party, the People's Action Party (PAP -- founded by Lee Kwan Yew the first prime minister), as it has been for the last 37 years since Singapore became an independent country. Same goes for broadcast media, where MediaCorp, also owned by the government, runs every television channel and radio station.

But reforms are now taking place, and the government is allowing competition in the print and broadcast media. That's right, SPH and MediaCorp will no longer have monopolies on their respective markets. To be more precise, MediaCorp has been allowed to publish a newspaper, and SPH has been allowed to operate TV channels. This is reform Singapore style.

As satellite TV is banned in Singapore, the only other alternative is the only cable company, SCV -- owned jointly by, you guessed it, SPH, MediaCorp and a third company, Singapore Technologies, whose CEO is the wife of the current deputy prime minister who, in turn, is the son of the former (and first) prime minister, Lee Kwan Yew. It is so much out of 1984 that it makes you laugh.

Hear no evil, see no evil

Then there is this one: the former head of the secret police (Internal Security Department -- ISD), Tjong Yik Min, is second in charge at SPH. He was also on the board of directors of Singapore Airlines at the same time as he was on the board of the civil aviation authority, which among other things runs the airport. I write "was' because, as Singapore Airlines was trying to take over Ansett Australia, questions about something very unSingaporean like 'conflict of interest' came up, and Tjong was 'retired'.

Well, not to give the impression that I have only been fermenting dissent here in paradise, I must say that Singapore poses somewhat of a political/philosophical quandary. I came here with the lowest of expectations, thinking of the place as a neo-fascist police state, which I still to a large degree think it is. Just try reading the newspapers with anything approaching a critical eye, and you just got to laugh. News is so obviously filtered and manipulated here that at the end of it you feel like you've read a PAP pamphlet and not a newspaper.

Same thing for the news. I don't have a TV (well I do, but it's not plugged in) but the buses here do, and of course they show the news. Suffice to say that I am going to buy two things before the next time I get on a bus -- very dark glasses and a walkman. Hear no evil, see no evil.

Same rubbish, different name

This, in a nutshell, sums up the apparent attitude here. All this stuff is not hard to find out, and a lot of people seem quite aware of the level of government influence here. Yet no one seems too fussed by it. Thus, the quandary: the standard of living here is quite high, there is a large middle class, and people here do not lack for anything, there is no hunger nor rampant poverty nor glaring corruption of which there is lots of just a short bus or boat ride away in Malaysia or Indonesia. Things run real smooth here, everything from replacing a lost bank card or national ID to borrowing a book from the library or setting up a phone line, or making an inquiry at the tax office or registering a vehicle. Moreover, education is highly encouraged and supported.

In short, life (or so it seems) is good. And can we talk of an independent media elsewhere? Hardly, as they are all in bed together anyway, with only a few companies controlling all the major papers and stations anyway, whether they are government controlled or not.

Same rubbish, different name. And the government here has a few policies that I actually approve of -- one of them is the COE (Certificate of Entitlement) which basically allows you to own a vehicle. These, of course, are issued by the government, but only in limited quantities, 3% more each year. So the government controls how many cars are on the road, hence little traffic and low car pollution. So the kicker is that a COE is good for 10 years, and they are auctioned to the highest bidder. Anyone can bid, and you can bid via the Internet or a bank machine. The current going rate? 30,000 dollars! And the best part is that the COE for motorcycles is only 600 dollars. Now that's what I call good policy! Now if only they would teach people here how to drive.

And of course, there are the (cigarette) smoking laws. This is the first place I have seen people actually carrying their own little ashtrays and not just chucking their butts on the street or in the grass. And no smoking inside, anywhere. Absolutely brilliant. So is it not maybe worth sacrificing a few (useless?) rights for some seemingly very tangible benefits? I mean, ok, maybe I can't vote for an opposition (hypocrite that I am, I never voted anywhere, anyway) but does that really change anything anywhere anyway?

To this cynics' mind, no. And ok, maybe the government here takes the mandatory retirement fund (CPF) and supports dictators in Indonesia and Burma -- but what other governments doesn't have their own dirty dealings, and when has public policy ever changed those facts anyway? And, you just have to look at those basket case countries across the water from here to realise that maybe a good dose of (seemingly) benevolent authoritarianism a-la-Singapore may not indeed be the worst thing that could happen to them. People seem quite willing and happy to be sheep, long as they are well fed and they don't notice the shearing.

So I don't know, because on the surface it is hard to argue against the Singapore miracle as they call it. But then again, you just take a little walk through little India and maybe -- just maybe -- you catch a glimpse of another Singapore.

Now why are all those Indians and Tamils and Sri Lankans hanging out in those parks? Concert going on? Festival? Guess again. Just look at those little houses that look like they are going to collapse, with the dusty, cracked windowpanes through which you can see a few army-style bunkbed/cots -- the picture becomes a little clearer. The people hang out in the streets and parks because there's no place to hang out inside if there are 20 of you living in a room. And maybe that's why all those people who clean toilets and sweep sidewalks and work on construction sites are just a little darker than your average Singaporean. So maybe being a sheep is not so bad -- so long as you're not a black sheep.

And then again, why is it I am more likely to be able to speak Urdu or Bosnian to someone cleaning a toilet in Oslo? Same rubbish, different place.

Just remember kids -- democracy is only one letter from democrazy.